I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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