Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
