my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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