So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
birth control should be required to get into college
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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