Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
