If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just invented taco cereal.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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