Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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