i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The uberlube is also flammable
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
