is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
