Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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