i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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