Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
