we have pet lesbian snakes
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
