were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
