I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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