I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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