p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
