we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
