It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
