So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
