this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
