how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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