I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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