If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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