You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
