I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize