this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
