you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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