his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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