There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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