would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
