Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Come on in and take your pants off
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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