Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
