I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's blow job season.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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