im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
