Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
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