ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
