4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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