is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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