I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
farters have to be the big spoon...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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