i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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