I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
