So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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