Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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