Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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