Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
