I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize