then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize