she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Randomize
