I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You took a bar mat shot.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
