Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
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I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
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I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can feel your judgement through the phone