Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
