Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina