I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize