Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
