Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
