Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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