Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
