I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
