I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
