if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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