no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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