Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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